Lup and Straight Trans Women

I’ve got other things to say about why The Adventure Zone is pretty cool some other time, but I just want to talk about one element: The relationship between Lup and Barry in The Stolen Century, and more importantly what it stands for. Please keep in mind this is a narrow presentation of transness and queerness and it’s not representative of what it means to be trans for everybody at all. I’m speaking on the gut feelings I experience rather than rational understandings I hold.

From the Postmodern Postgraduate Postulate…

When I watched Steins;Gate, there was an acute feeling that brought me to tears in the trans character presented. I recognized how deeply it touches me to see a trans person in love, particularly extended to a trans woman in love with a straight cis man. There’s a subtextual “Are you good enough” aspect to it. Do you pass well enough for him to love you? Are you feminine enough for him to love you? It’s because the everyman (ie straight cis man) is expected to have an ordinary view of women and what is attractive in a woman, and a trans woman inherently defies that by default simply because men are meant to be observers and women are meant to be observed. To a straight cis man, a trans woman is a cis man calling for attention, a cis man looking to be observed. The features that may be present in a trans woman embody this— the thick chin, wide shoulders, narrow hips, large hands, bony knees, the penis. None of it by biology is likely to be synonymous with the thin, curved, sleek beauty women are perceived to have. It’s because of this that it’s truly special for a straight cis man to love a trans woman, because it means he has overcome this default societal notion and truly accepted the trans woman as a woman. It’s saying, “Yes, you are good enough. You pass well enough for me. You’re feminine enough for me.” It’s an acceptance that is empowering for all trans women, straight or otherwise, because it means that the demographic who has imposed this gender binary upon the world accepts your identity as synonymous with your expression. This is important to note— expression is like a mathematical function. The expresser inputs the expression and society perceives to the output. Expression is defined by the expresser insofar as the expresser can input new values to the expression, but if society has bounded the expresser to certain limits, no matter what the expresser does they may never be fully accepted. In a society dominated by straight cis men, there are bounds placed by society on what an individual assigned male at birth can be. That individual may express themselves as femininely as possible, but unless straight cis men choose this expression to be female, a trans woman, as perceived by the world, is no different from a man in a dress. To see a straight cis man love a trans woman is to see that man accept a trans woman as being a woman, and by inference every trans woman as a woman. For all the self-empowerment we may do to overcome the patriarchy and ignore how society perceives us, it’s only something we can do logically and never emotionally. Even if I understand how foolish it is to put my self-confidence in the hands of society, primarily straight cis men, I can never truly avoid doing so. So to see straight cis men accept a trans woman as a woman by loving her, I see reassurance that I am truly a woman. It is because of this that something as inconsequential and sappy as Barry and Lup falling in love can bring me to joyful tears because of that little detail that Lup was assigned male at birth. It means that I really am a woman and that trans women can experience love as everybody else does and not dragged down by their assigned sex at birth.

I guess this is an indication that at the end of the day, even a strange one like me’s just looking for a place I can feel normal in.


Why I Didn’t Fap Last Night

It’s late at night, my roommate is out, my blinds are shut and the lights are off. I think to myself, “You know, now’s a good time to rub one out.” So I pull open a private window and…


You mean… people fap to THIS shit?

God. Penis. Get out out of here. Please. Now, Go away.

Uhg, lesbians don’t actually do that. How can anybody believe this is real?

They said they’re lesbians, but there’s a man here. Get the fuck out!

Really? This is your representation of trans people? Fucking transphobes.

This isn’t how women masturbate!!

Y’all realize how racist that title is…

You know what? I’ll just try again later. Fuck this shit I’m going to sleep.

This is an all too common experience for me, and it doesn’t need to be. I argue a huge part of why this is is that the vast majority of porn is strongly androcentric, or in layman terms, it’s oriented toward cis, straight dudes. Before you all come clamoring to tell me there’s women-oriented erotica, keep in mind that that is cis female oriented. I would argue sexual experiences particularly are one field in which trans and cis women significantly differ in their experiences because, well, if you haven’t gotten surgery then you’ve got a dick, and that changes how sex works. Honestly I’d be fine with reading my porn if I weren’t so into creative writing and thus able to recognize the shittiness of other peoples’ grammar and story structuring. As-is though, it fucking sucks. Sure, video porn still has contrived plots and whatnot, but there aren’t so many grammatical errors, which sets it well above most erotica.

Furthermore, the bit of trans female-oriented porn is incredible exploitive of the trans experience by fetishizing feminization or an AMAB individual being submissive. If I got dick dysphoria, the last thing I wanna see on screen is a dick, alright? Show me some cis women, please. Okay, sure, let’s look at cis lesbian porn: It’s all male-oriented. So many of it enforces dominant / submissive, penetrator / penetrated, rigid structures that reinforce gender roles even in a same-sex relationship. Hell, I’m sure half the reason people think gays have the man and the woman is because of misleading porn. The amount of lesbian porn that is female oriented, let alone lesbian-oriented, is so slim as to give me difficulty in finding it on the mainstream porn sites— the only sites I frequent because I ain’t paying for porn and I don’t know where to search.

The sad reality is that most good female-oriented video porn or queer-oriented video porn is made by small producers who need money directly, and I can’t realistically afford that for something of the same production quality as everything else but more kind to my sensibilities.

But doesn’t this case mean that the industry should continue as-is? If I’m not willing to put my wallet where my mouth is, what’s the good in demanding more equal porn in the first place? I could tackle all the sociological implications of this, but like, think about it this way. There’s 49% men and 49% women and like, .5% enby, trans, or something else. Why isn’t .5% of porn trans-oriented? Why isn’t half of porn female oriented? The porn industry is such a brilliant example of how male privilege reinforces the continued male privilege.

All this same logic applies to other axes of diversity— cultural differences and complexion can be huge inhibitors to appreciating mainstream porn when mainstream porn is so white-centric and fetishizes POC.

Now mind you, in spite of the racism, sexism, homophobia and transphobia I see when looking at porn, only some specific elements of the expression of these things actually turn me off. Mostly the trouble comes from the distraction. When I see something fuckin stupid, I’m taken out of the experience, the immersion.

Minding all of this, consider then when I open a private tab and look and the first thing I see is blowjob. Tit rubbing. Objectification. Understand the exception I take to this? Good, because it’s a legitimate inhibitor to my ability to pleasure myself, and masturbating is what lets us see the world.

I Can’t Write Fiction for Shit!: A Spiritual Journey As To Why

There’s an orange-ish substance on the metal portion of my fidget spinner, and I cannot tell if it’s sauce from something I ate or rust. It looks slightly liquidy / sticky, which given either possibility makes me scared to touch it. Sure, there is hand soap and a sink in my dorm room, but from an economic perspective, the only benefit of me touching the fidget spinner is to obtain this information. Knowing how I am at the moment, there is a 0% chance that I would actually bother to clean the fidget spinner, meaning under either option I am very likely to just throw it out either way. On the other hand, I get my finger sticky with orange stuff if I do touch it, which will be unpleasant and require time to remove from my finger. Admittedly that period of time is less than the period of time it has taken me to write this, but now that I have written all of this, it would still be an inefficient use of my time to then touch the fidget spinner and determine the properties of the orange sticky substance on the spinner.

I have had a growing concern regarding storytelling, particularly written stories. On the one hand, the confines imposed by being forced to tell a story through words alone can allow for new artistic merit. Since telling a story depends on description, this description can be played with in fun ways. Zipping one’s lips shut can be described as pinching two  fingers together and moving them from one side of the mouth to the other. By describing it in the second manner, the reader is not immediately aware this is zipping one’s lips shut and thus considers the specific action, giving a better visual image for the reader of what has just occurred and allowing the reader to be better immersed than they would be otherwise. Such strategies are useful and cool, but it does not lift my worry about the confines of storytelling through words alone. My greatest concern is that because everything is a description of reality rather than reality itself, there is a limit to the number of possible descriptions of that reality in a sense that there wouldn’t be to reality itself. Though a film is staged, what it portrays is immediately engaging on all senses. There isn’t the same basic prerequisite that in order to make a vlog, you have to be fully aware of autobiographical storytelling the same way one must to write creative nonfiction or creative autobiographical works. Sure, these elements can be helpful, but I don’t feel as if they are as integral to the essence of storytelling through video as they are in storytelling through words.

To express my concern as it blatantly is, rather than by trying to make it into some academic thinkpiece it’s not, I’m worried that I’ll run out of ideas for stories to tell because there’s only so many written stories that can be told. We’ve done it already to plot— please find me a plot from any medium from the past 20 years that hasn’t been done before already. Characters sure seemed immune for quite some time, but I’m beginning to grow concerned that the human experience can only be mutated in so many fashions. Intersectionality gives the best resolve to that that we have, since there are many tango dancers and many Genshiken fans, but very few tango dancers who are Genshiken fans. Thus I am able to combine my distinct repertoire into my content creation. However, I’m uncertain of how to extend this to stories. Typically as it is portrayed, characters must have an entry point for the audience. They must be universal in an element. This can’t be done though when it’s personal, because there are people who are just fucking weird. So you’re stuck with the dilemma: make your characters fucking weird and risk looking like a hack because it’s better to give your characters originality in their heart and soul rather than in their interests or appearances, or end up devolving into the at this point trite attempts to make a new take on a given type of character.

Part of this issue may evolve from the fetishization that fiction puts on weirdness. Anything that isn’t normal isn’t just something that isn’t normal, it is immediately put into this category of weirdness. And furthermore, these elements of weirdness are expected to not be tackled intersectionally— instead we can get the intersection from the interaction between characters. This totally contradicts reality, since I do do tango and I am a Genshiken fan and I do play ping pong and I am trans and I like creative writing and I’m majoring in math. For all practical storytelling, having a character with that much going on is absolutely ridiculous, but evidently by myself it exists in real life. So, do you overburden a character with too many traits, or do you deny them the many intersections that are legitimately prevalent in the human experience? Should you attempt to tackle writing characters who do have this metric fuckton of traits, it becomes inevitable that you give each trait its own point of relevancy, which is pointless and dumb. It’s necessary when writing a character to only include the information that is utilized in the story itself when writing the story. Chekhov’s gun— if my character plays ping pong and there isn’t an inherent personality in all ping pong players (which there isn’t, though there are trends and I’m sure one could express a player along one particular trend), it better be relevant to the story that my character plays ping pong. So then, only include the necessary details, right? The issue with this is that while there may be no ping pong playing happening in the story, the experience of competitiveness I get from playing ping pong and the elements that compose the game of back and forthness, and element of creativity in how you will attempt to best your opponent, et cetera et cetera, all of these things are relevant to the experiences of a person as a whole.

This is my dilemma— how do I capture all the intersecting elements of a person as viewed through their personality alone, without stating all those intersecting elements? John McNally in Vivid and Continuous does an excellent piece tangential to this. Minor characters typically have one defining element. To many people in my Japanese class last semester, I was the person who said, “I hate anime,” all the time. To my math professors and classmates, I was “that one 16 / 17 year old taking Calc 2 / Multivariate / Linear Algebra.” However, my experience within the math class is absolutely informed by my experience in my philosophy class wherein we discussed the philosophy of mathematics, and it’s absolutely informed by my experience of planning to transfer to another school otherwise I’d be way more fed up with the shitty instruction than I am, and it’s absolutely informed by all these other elements. If I were to seem dismissive of my math class and somebody were to ask why, I would say, “Well because non-Euclidian geometry is cooler and also fuck this school I’m out of here in 3 more months.” But if a character were to say it, that’d seem ridiculous. You’ve taken a minor character and injected them with a way too unnecessary amount of personality. Maybe for a main character this is fitting, but then even a main character has its limits. If my story is about how I as a person perceive love, then it’s going to be informed by fucking everything in my life since love is such a broad subject. When I think about sex, I’m going to think about tango and how leading and following can be traded off, both of these make me think of MacKinnon in my philosophy class who claimed the presence of dominance and submission is existing within a misogynist, androcentric paradigm of the world, even if roles are not corresponding to their original form as in me having sex with another woman or something else entirely. This makes me feel dysphoric because I then consider MacKinnon’s statement about how people whose identities are not strictly male or female are still bound to the same gender binary, which makes me feel as if on some rudimentary level, be it the continued existence of my penis or the psychology of being raised male or something else entirely, I’m never truly female. This in turn makes me feel less gloaty about playing ping pong because it’s not as impressive for a once-man to beat a frat boy at ping pong as it is for a woman to beat a frat boy at ping pong. Obviously this line of thinking is very TERF-esque and so I rationally reject it, particularly in the consideration of other individuals, because I am well-informed on the political paradigms of the trans world, another element of my existence, but that underlying presence still gives rise to dysphoria in said fashions.

All of these experiences are so invariably interconnected, so it’s difficult for me to write a story with myself as a character when myself as a character is just one or two or three things. This is something I can assume then is true of every person, which furthers my difficulty, because it means that every fucking character I can possibly write is a simulation and somehow ultimately unreal. How am I supposed to provide anything of meaning via a simulation alone? How can I choose only a select few elements of a person and expect them to be complete with only those few elements?

Perhaps the issue here lies in the what of my writing more than the downfall of writing itself— my struggle has always been to write longer stories. The five page / 1500 word mark is typically where my stories tend to transform into something else entirely, and as such, should I be writing a story that I’m truly convinced needs to be this way, I have to keep it under this limit or risk it transforming away from me. This struggle I recognize as inherently flawed, of course— again, John McNally laid it out. You’ve got to get past that point in the story before you’ll begin to write what you truly want to write. It’s when things come alive. My concern is that this “alive” mode of my writing is far more primitive than my intellectual form of writing… how can I write something I know is bad when I could instead spend my time writing something good? There’s no economic payoff here….

Perhaps then it’s this alive mode that needs to be honed, and the dead mode is irrelevant. All my time training my writing abilities, I’ve been working on my dead mode of writing abilities— something antithetical to how it ought to be.

In this case, all my creative writing classes have been useless! Everything I’ve written up until now, particularly the flash fiction pieces, have been worthless! Time to upend the system and kill my babies. I gotta get good at actual writing.

Overcoming the D&D Paradox

Dungeons and Dragons does this thing that is simultaneously incredible and a curse. The incredible part is that you get to write a story on the spot with friends. How often does that happen? How often does that happen outside of those dumb writing activities you do at the $5 workshops where you write a sentence, pass it to the person on the right, fold the paper over the last sentence, write another one…? It’s pretty goddamn cool, this idea of writing on-the-spot fiction.

The curse is that you’re so, so incredibly limited in the kind of story you can tell. Dungeons and Dragons is generic high fantasy. End of story. Boom. Stuck in that one setting. Also you gotta deal with being stuck to an ensemble cast. Specifically, an ensemble cast of players, most of which have no sense of good characterization or storytelling, at least one of which who doesn’t like at least one of the other players, and at least one of which who wants to power game rather than telling a story (for very understandable reason; it’s difficult for me to resist the urge myself). The result: Every story you tell is complete dogshit.

Perhaps I should watch the Adventure Zone because I am told they bypass some of this.

So, let’s make a hypothetical D&D campaign that avoids all these issues. What are the prerequisites?

• Players should have some sense of storytelling and a strong sense of characterization

• Players should have some experience acting so they can act out their characters in the manner they wish to characterize their characters in

• The Dungeon Master should have all these qualities except accompanied by a much, much, much stronger sense of storytelling and a general idea of an overarching narrative with where to go

• Everybody should agree that if they’re gonna do fantasy, it’s gonna be something different that hasn’t been done before. Oh wait… guess that means no fantasy.

^ This basically means throwing out the entire book mind you, which does raise from the grave the great debate of Are the parts of D&D that make D&D good actually D&D?

• Everybody needs to be pretty familiar with one another, ie no rando games

• Everybody needs to get along for the sake of cooperative storytelling. No, not necessarily beyond that, but to that extent they should get along

Basically then what we’re looking at is fuck-all nobody but the nightly crew of 27 rue de Fleurus, hopefully before Gertrude’s given them her pot brownies.

Oh yes, believe me, I am severely bothered by shows like Critical Role for this very reason. Besides how hw-hw-hwite they are, their strict adherence to the Tolkien-style of setting and clear lack of experience acting well-written characters (Guys, they all do anime voice acting. Anime. Who the fuck watches anime?) and further lack of experience being able to write good characters themselves, it certainly doesn’t help that dear ole Matt keeps things so goddamn streamlined that the only story you can really tell is “A ragtag bunch of folks fight some monsters and save some people.” Puts on my creative writing professor’s glasses and slams papers onto the table. “It is not literary fiction! Disqualified.”

Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I’m too absorbed in the realm of academic creative writing that I’ve lost my sight of what a nice and normal story looks like. But… they break the fourth wall for no reason… Bu-bu-but… the denouement of the arc was totally weak because of their obsessive over-reliance on Freytag’s Pyramid AKA Blackmon’s Rhombus…. 

What even does a good story look like? Genshiken exists, but I think Genshiken is more likely to be about people playing D&D than the story created by the D&D players. Perhaps it is folly to attempt to make good stories in D&D after all. I should go full-form OSR and focus on PLAYER SKILL OVER CHARACTER SKILL. I will not be satisfied by these mediocre MacGuffins and shallow Mary Sues! The purpose is SKILL. TALENT. EVERYTHING ELSE IS SECONDARY. D&D IS A GAME FOR RRRRRRRREEEEEEAL BRAINS.

Oh dear. What have I done.

Let’s move on to the real questions then, like How many white people does it take to make the D&D books not racially insensitive?

Answer: More than they have!

Haha! Get it? Humor!

(It’s funny because they designed the entire Monk class as just a catch-all for Asian people, and also had a subclass of the fighter class being the Samurai because oooh boy being a knight from Japan sure is so cool and different to afford its own subclass! I’m sure the shogunate were the ones to grant them the undying strength and whatnot. And also there’s an interesting trend of the good albeit snooty high elves being white and the evil drow elves being dark-skinned. And also there’s an overrepresentation of white people in the images drawn (“Bu-bu-but there’s blue-skinned people too!” Yes, blue-skinned people whose faces are clearly modeled off of white people. “Bu-bu-but there’s a black person here!” Yes there is. One black person followed by twenty-five white people. Sooo proportional). And also the holy cleric and paladin classes are clearly heavily based off of a certain Abrahamic religion. And also… and also… and also…)

Yeesh. What has become of this blog? I’ve barely got the Asian blood in me to make this not pure white knighting. Cut me some slack though, I’m from the midwest.

God dammit, now I’m all riled up. Better go listen to Critical Role to cool off.


Alas, maybe the real issue is that I simply don’t have any friends whose company I enjoy enough to afford playing D&D with them.

Snarkily Remarking on Past Articles (And maybe analyzing a bit)

Emotion in Alternative Tango and Abstraction of Art:

(I’m in general less a fan of alternative tango now versus when I wrote this article)

“I have to disagree though that the lack of humans in performance or direct emotion from the music robs dancers of their ability to express the music. Instead, the way I see it, it lets the listener form a personal connection to the song more easily and permanently imprint their own emotion subjectively onto the song for every time they listen to it.”

My basic argument here is “I know everybody else thinks about it this way, but I don’t.” I think I had a valid-ish point with this though. The other side of this argument is that Alternative tango tends to be very precise with when which parts correspond to certain movements, so from that perspective, it is difficult to really have much free reign over how you’re dancing to the music. My counter to that is even permitting that is true, there are certain movements that would be kind of improper for most traditional tango music which alternative tango allows people to explore. So even if in some regards, alternative tango is restricting, there are benefits to playing at least a limited selection in a milonga. Regarding this whole idea of having inherent emotion versus people bringing their own emotions to the music, it’s good from a mathematical perspective, but from my very very limited and circumstantial understanding of psychology, people tend to be more willing to express their own emotions in situations where other strong emotions are already present.

“I wrote all of that in a huge rush, so why don’t I try to reiterate this differently. “

Uhg… I know I’m still guilty of clunky transitions nowadays (ha! Geddit? Because I’m trans… Wait, what?) but this is really brutal reading back.

“I believe that a work of art’s impression on a viewer / reader / listener / consumer is far more significant that the original intent of the piece. In essence, what a person takes out of art — their subjective experience with it — is more important than the piece of art itself.”

This is a totally different argument from the past part. I’m basically just reiterating the thesis for death of the author here and it’s only tangentially related to my original point.

“Alternative tango can enable the listener, by being more abstracted in emotion, to form an easier sentimental value with the song.”

This is just blatantly untrue and would give people out of the loop a misconception about alternative versus traditional tango… If I were to make the fallacy of categorizing an entire genre of music at all, I’d categorize alternative tango as too blunt with its emotions. Listen to “Otra Luna” by Narcotango or “Cinqo Minutos de Soledad” by Tangolectra. Mind you I’m generally a fan of both of these artists, it’s just this particular songs that, gosh, they sure are abstract with their emotions. I have no idea what they’re going for at all. I think a lot of traditional tango music can be emotional, for sure, but it doesn’t beat you over the head the way these songs do. The former, at least in my local tango group, is highly regarded as one of the great gems of contemporary tango music. *shudders*

Madarame’s Big Resolution:

“I’ll be honest, I thought there was a chance for MadaHato to be a reality. A slim one at that. But now Genshiken is telling us how silly it is to think anything other than this would happen….Well, I’m sure that MadaHato did have a real — but slim — possibility….I’d say more disappointing than MadaHato being a reality is that Hato isn’t interested in men….”

I did a nice job editing out all the sniffles there. Aha! Be proud, past me! You have been avenged.

On Content Creation:

“I feel like society has started putting a stronger focus on the creators of works and their personality and personal lives….”

Hang on, repeat that.

“I feel like society…”

Okay, right here, starting anything with this phrase is just a bad idea. If you write a blog article and this is how you start it, you’re doing something wrong. Now, beyond that, I do think I have a valid point here within the world of YouTube, but it’s a pretty damn big generalization to say all of society is this way,

This Kind of Writing:

“Often I have ideas for why I like some aspect of some anime or manga, and the idea is complex enough to take up 500 words, but I’d love to be able to go full-out Hearts of Furious Fantasies style with the 10,000 word posts.”

Aw, that’s cute, even if I do mess up his blog name.

Genshiken Has Made Me Depressed:

See, I even knew it at the time. Can you all understand why I’ve written like, 5 blog articles about how great Spotted Flower is in the past month?

Revolutionary Girl Utena’s TRUE REVOLUTION:

I definitely have this habit of conflating my emotional attachment to things with analytical points. I’d have to do my research here, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that 革命, the word for “revolution” in Japanese, probably only means revolution in the sense of The French Revolution and not so much in the sense of revolving around an object. It’s possible that the creators were aware of the dualistic meaning in English and chose the word 革命 based off of that, but I highly doubt it.

Is Copyright a Cultural Bias?:

I think this is a really great idea and pretty forward-thinking for a point in my life where I was having my red-pill phase, but when I said,

“This could just be sanctioned because most of the musicians and orchestras were friends with one another and had their own cool kids club, but I feel like most of them genuinely didn’t care if another orchestra played their song.”

I did like, no research at all to confirm whether or not this was true. My source for this was basically some (non-Argentinian) DJ giving me this whole narrative about this thing rather than actually looking for whether or not it’s true for myself.

How to ‘Get’ Action!

Oh god. I just realized the song is called “Get Action” in an album titled “Bedroom Bedrock.” Maybe that was the point, but if so I didn’t get that until now. I hate this article so much though. Heh. Wait, what’s this article? I don’t see it…

Video Games are the Apex of Art

This title is so misleading. My point here was that games are one of the only forms of art that incorporate several different sensory experiences and that’s cool. I think I was trying to go the clickbait title route but I ended up just looking dumb.

Thievery Corporation’s “The Temple of I & I”: What to Expect:

Cultural appropriation  Shit, can’t use the C-A phrase.

“Now in The Temple of I & I I think we’re going to hear more of those parts that make Saudade great: noticeable evolution from past albums, more emphasis on the culture of their album, prominent vocal tracks. However, it brings it back closer to the instrumentation of Thievery Corporation we were accustomed to.”

Bringing it closer to the instrumentation we’re used to is me trying to soften how this album already sounded like it was cherry-picking the parts of Jamaican music and culture that it liked and ignoring the rest of it. Not really something I should be trying to soften.

The Temple of I & I:

“Now, I’m aware The Temple of I & I has received some critical reviews for misappropriating the sound of Jamaica. I’m not Jamaican, nor have I ever been strongly invested in Jamaican music, so my opinion my fall secondary to someone more familiar with the culture Thievery Corporation is incorporating this album. Just a heads up.”

Well, at least I was blue-pilled enough to be aware that the points I’m making are kinda dumb. The gist behind saying this is basically, “Hi I know that this album is problematic, but I’m a dumb white girl so I’m going to give you my dumb white girl opinion anyway!”

Reading through the article, I don’t have as much a problem with it as I expected to though. My impetus for making this post was because I remembered making an article about Temple of I & I largely praising it even though it’s a very good example of the C-A phrase, but seeing as I at least gave a warning that this was a dumb white girl opinion I guess I can’t fault myself too too much.

Chroniko’s Boots — How Kaiba Portrays a Corrupt Society

“The society in Kaiba here is portrayed as the corruption of capitalism with all of the wealth and power belonging to a tiny number of rich people and none of the wealth or power belonging to anybody else.”

Isn’t that just normal capitalism?

Kuragehime The Finale

Well, the manga for Kuragehime just ended, so I’ve got some thoughts!

I think it’s very apparent from the writing that this series had lost its direction a while ago, so I can’t be particularly upset about seeing everything being wrapped up in a unrealistically neat bow like that. Clearly the final volume was just an appeal to the fanbase, which is alright. But, I’ve still got a gripe!

So, Kuranosuke, with lines like, “I wish I was born a girl so I could wear clothes like this,” at the end wraps up his gender identity as “Yep I’m a man 100% boy male masculinity!” This feels inauthentic, especially after one of the big themes from just the chapter before was this idea of wearing dresses, or rather feminine beauty, as a symbol of resilience and strength— Tsukimi wearing dresses not to fulfill her role as a woman and be married, but to have armor to go into the outside world and stand alone. For our neatly canonized Kura/Tsukimi ship, what better than to see them both wearing that armor together? The ultimate objective Kuranosuke offered over his brother, other than not being a boring businessman, was a sense of equality. He didn’t have this ill-conceived and sexist notion of working for his wonderful wife, et cetera, et cetera. If anything, call him selfish if it is so, but he was Tsukimi’s princess for which she could be one with. Why at the very end resolve him into the role of a prince, letting Tsukimi be the princess, and reaffirming the heteronormative relationship after building up this great untraditional dynamic for their relationship to exist in? Plus, where’s the logical thruline here? His mother is proud to see him wearing the clothes, and so instead he’s not wearing them at the end? What? Yeesh man, I get you want it all to end cleanly but talk about making it too perfect. Go watch the last season of Downton Abbey if you want too clean of endings. Instead, we’re practically cucked out of this idea of power in feminine strength.

Hell, even beyond this, couldn’t we have done something better than making the BL mangaka a guy because he was in love with Chieko all along? Say, maybe make him a trans BL mangaka…?

Wait, shit, I’m projecting the wrong series onto this here! Don’t forget about how sensible Japan is! They accept you, just know that it’s just a phase.

Well, either way, I think once we got past the section covered in the anime the series starts to take some questionable turns. Damn! I gotta write my own Kuranosuke / Inoue Yuki (Helloooo? Birdcage Manor anaybody?) type chracter into a story! Except maybe they can actually be trans or something!

Shit! Aren’t I just writing Contrapoints into my story then?

Yikes. Everything’s been done before now.

Well, no matter, I’m glad the series has ended.

Spotted Flower 24-25: MORE! THERE MUST BE MORE!

Well, it didn’t take long for !Saki to find out what’s going on. Dammit, !Hato, you forgot to wash his house sweater too? No way you’ll be the perfect hus- er, wi- er, spouse at that rate! Well, !Saki knows what !Mada’s been up to then, just not who. If he gets lucky, she’ll think it was with some woman she doesn’t know, there’ll be a talk about it, and a nice and easy reconciliation, right? Wraps it all up in a neat little bow.

Whatever you do !Madarame, don’t let her know that she got beat by a trap!

Er, wait a minute, why am I rooting for them to stay together? Isn’t the better turn of events here that she finds out it was !Hato, gets pissed the fuck off that !Mada’s been having gay sex (See: Traps are gay), divorces him, takes the baby, and then !Mada’s left with an open, vulnerable heart for !Hato to fill! And it’s not just his heart that they’re filling, naw’m sayin?

Shit! This is great! Is it possible that I’ll be fulfilled not just by a legendary one night stand but a literally universe-altering romance? I had immediately dismissed it out of hand, but here… I could see there being a real chance with this! Maybe just like, 1% chance, but I will fucking take it.

So, to answer your question from last time, yes, !Madarame,  you were cheating on her. You slept with somebody else. That’s what cheating is. If it makes you feel better, !Hato got more time on page with their dick in you than your dick in them, so if !Saki asks, you weren’t *really* fucking someone else. They were fucking you!!! Heh. Heheheheh.

Well, unbelievers, I think this is fact! Some of you all were hoping it was a dream or just in somebody’s imagination. The proof is here. Get fucked. Please, scram from this masterpiece in art that is HatoMada. You cannot turn back.

If you can’t tell, I have very little of substance to say, but I can still gloat plenty.

Update: Wait, she knows!~ I hadn’t considered that !Saki would recognize !Hato’s scent. Mwahhahaha. She knows! SHE KNOWS!~